By Oakville Maids | Serving the GTA with a Mop in One Hand and Secrets in the Other
When you’ve cleaned as many homes as we have across Oakville and the GTA, you learn a few things. One: never trust a closed closet door. Two: the dust bunnies are watching you. And three: people live weird.
We’re professionals, and we don’t judge, but we do have stories. So here are a few strange, unforgettable, and occasionally hilarious things we’ve stumbled across on the job. Names have been withheld to protect the guilty. Mostly.
⚠️ Warning: Hilarious Honesty Ahead: This post contains real stories from the front lines of house cleaning, some mildly shocking, all completely anonymous, and definitely weird. If you’re squeamish about bodily fluids, questionable decision-making, or adult discoveries in unexpected places… well, you’ve been warned. 😅 Enjoy responsibly…
And maybe don’t read this during lunch.
The Book Shrine
We once cleaned a luxury condo owned by a public figure and we knew they were proud of their book for it was on every table, a copy of it stacked 3–4 high. Kitchen? Book stack. Bathroom? Yep. Guest bedroom? Even the nightstand had one. It was less a home, more a literary altar.
When Urine Becomes a Science Experiment
We thought we’d seen it all. Then we found urine gel. Around the base of a toilet. Apparently, if ignored long enough, urine transforms into a sticky amber glue from another dimension. We almost felt bad cleaning it up, like we were interfering with its evolutionary journey.
Gnats. Thousands of Them.
Move-outs are always an adventure. But one place had so many gnats, it felt like we were walking into a deleted scene from “The Mummy.” No one told us we’d need pest control AND a priest. (In case you’re wondering, it took five full cans of bug killer to reclaim the place.)
Cocaine in the Bathroom (No, We Didn’t Touch It)
You never know what you’ll find tucked behind toiletries. Sometimes it’s dust. Sometimes it’s a forgotten earring. Sometimes… it’s a small bag of powder that’s definitely not baking soda. We just clean around it and pretend we never saw a thing.
Condom Wrappers: The Neverending Story
Let’s just say… some bedrooms were more active than others. One home seemed to have a daily commitment to safe practices and we could tell because there were wrappers under the bed, behind the dresser, and one just… stuck to the headboard. We respect the effort, but also, have they heard of a trash can?
Other Honourable Mentions:
- A perfectly arranged row of 29 used toothbrushes. Why? We don’t know.
- A cat that tried to ride the vacuum and then tried to ride us.
- A man’s “emergency drawer” labeled “DO NOT OPEN” (we didn’t, but come on… really?)
💬 Final Thoughts from the Mop Bucket
At the end of the day, we’re not here to judge. We’re here to clean, to make your life easier, and to leave every space fresher than we found it, no matter what strange treasures lie beneath the bed or behind the bidet.
Just remember: your secrets are safe with us. Mostly. 😏